Five Random Lily and James Moments
by 10000 Dead Roses
Summary: Exactly as the title says. Random Lily and James Onshots with a baby Harry thrown in for good measure.
1. The List

Disclaimer: Not mine!

Every girl's bathroom had one. A list of all the best kissers in Hogwarts, permanently stuck to the back of the stall wall. Not even Mr. Skower's Magical Mess Remover could remove it. A girl would come, write a guys name on the back of the stall wall, and every girl who kissed that guy and thought it was good, added a tally mark next to the name.

That wasn't the part the annoyed Lily Evans. The annoying part was that James Potter's name had 8764-tally marks-8764!! Sirius Black didn't even have that many.

With a sigh, Lily Evans shut the stall door. She wasn't jealous, no way. This was Potter we were talking about. Annoying, selfish, Head Boy Potter. The bathroom door opened and a bunch of giggling 6th years bustled in. One girl walked over to the stall door and added a tally next to James' name.

Lily huffed indignantly; time to see what was so fascinating about him. She snatched her bag up and stormed out of the bathroom… time to find Potter.

The Marauders had just pulled a prank… a very large prank. They were walking down the Northern corridor. When they heard something from behind them.

" Potter! Potter!" James ignored Lily, figuring she was going to blame him for the prank his friends had pulled. He hadn't even been involved, and had taken a decent amount of points from Gryffindor.

"James!" she called. The Marauders stopped.

Lily ran up to them, " Lily," James began, " you are aware that you just called me-mmph!"

The Marauders gaped. Lily Evans had kissed James Potter, of her own free will.

She broke the kiss, " Huh!" she said, " I guess those girls were right. You are a good kisser! See you later James!" she called running off.

The marauders just stood there, dumbstruck. Suddenly James broke into a wide grin and touched his lips. He knew paying those girls a galleon each to put a tally next to his name was a good idea.


	2. Policeman

**A/N- Okay, this was originally a Lily/James one-shot but unfortunately, fanfiction seems to have a problem with me posting stories. So, this story will now be a selection of UNRELATED one-shots to do with pretty much any character in Harry Potter. None of these are related in any way unless stated by me.

* * *

**

A nine-year old Harry and Dudley sat at the kitchen table colouring, they had both returned home from school and were doing their homework assignment. 'What I want to be when I grow up'

Dudley was drawing himself holding a large drill, several times as big as him and in messy scrawl down the bottom he had printed,

_Wen I grow up I want too bee a drill macker bekooz my dad iz wun end I sownds lyke a kool job._

Dudley had always been a hopeless speller. Nevertheless, Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon fawned over his picture oohing and ahhing at the 'Precious Diddy-kins' work.

They rounded on Harry.

"What have you drawn boy?" Vernon barked, knowing he had to sign the thing for him or the teacher would get suspicious.

Harry slowly finished colouring and laid down the blue crayon he was holding.

"I wanna be a policeman when I grow up." He whispered shyly, swinging his feet and looking at the tabletop.

Uncle Vernon signed the bottom and snorted as Petunia picked up the ladle in the soup to taste it.

"Why the devil would you want to be one of them?"

Harry's eyes showed a determined shine, "I wanna catch 'em."

"Catch who?" Vernon asked suspiciously.

"The people, who hurt other people, like the people who hurt my parents."

Petunia's ladle clattered to the floor and Vernon turned an interesting shade of puce.

"Go to your room boy!" Vernon shouted.

Harry did as he was told, while he sat in his cupboard he thought and prayed that one day, he'd help people, so they didn't have a life like him. One day, he'd help.

_**EPILOGUE**_

"Mr. Potter, you've had an owl, apparently someone has been discovered in Albania practicing Dark Magic, and the other Aurors want you there immediately." Harry's secretary called into his cubicle at the Ministry of Magic.

"Certainly Erica, and how many times must I remind you to call me Harry?" he smiled, Voldemort had been defeated, the only time the Aurors were needed now was to round up stray Death-Eaters and capture people using Dark Magic, and their were barely any now.

With a sigh, he stood up and grabbed his jacket, preparing to Apparate when a picture in a cardboard box to his left caught his eye.

After the battle, he'd gone back to Privet Drive to look for anything he had missed, when he discovered a large box with his name on it. After he opened it, a letter had fallen out. It was dated the day before the Dursley's had been evacuated from Privet Drive.

_Dear Harry,_

_I know you probably hate me, but please read this before you throw it away. I never hated you; I just couldn't look at you because every time I did, I saw Lily. I hate myself for raising you terribly and I'll understand if you hate me. This box contains every drawing, picture or story you have done. Please, if you forgive me, let me know. Good luck with your life and I hope one day you can forgive me._

_Petunia._

He'd forgiven her, a few days after the Dursley's came out of hiding. He sometimes met her for coffee on Sundays and they discussed his mother and her life. Harry doubted that Uncle Vernon knew about these meetings.

Harry picked up the picture, the paper was ripped and dirty but the picture was still noticeable.

There was Harry, dressed in a blue uniform, a blue hat sitting atop his mess of black hair, his eyes large and a big, red smile drawn on his face with 'Crimson Red' crayon. He smiled, placed the picture on his desk and Apparated away…

He was going to help people.


	3. I knew

**A/N-**** um yeah, another random plot bunny. Reviews are appreciated. I had this hopping around my head for a while. This is a ...**

**Lily/James romance **

**Lily/Petunia sisterly bonding**

* * *

**Petunia POV**

I knew.

Lily might not have- but I did.

From the second she walked through the train barrier after her first year of Hogwarts, raving about some boy whom she referred to as **'that bloody Potter!'** I knew. I fought back a smile as she went on and on about his annoying pranks and cocky attitude. She didn't know- but I did.

* * *

I knew when she tried to comfort me about not getting a Hogwarts letter, saying that at least I wouldn't ever have to meet **'that bloody annoying selfish arrogant toe-rag Potter'**

I bit my lip to hold down my giggles and comment on the fact that one day I might just meet him; and sent her away, calling her a freak.

* * *

The arrival of a letter days before Christmas, when another had already been sent to us, meant that the **'selfish prat'** was staying at school for Christmas and that his **'idiotic gang of babbling bumbling** **buffoons'** were also there, so Lily needed to be reminded that murder was wrong and shouldn't be done on school grounds- or ever.

* * *

The summer before Lily's third year ended with a dramatic burning of a card the **'ignorant friend of the two timing man-whore who broke her best-friends'** **heart** had sent her. With great difficulty I covered my grin with a scowl… Lily just didn't get it.

* * *

It was a spectacular sight, watching Lily slap two boys across the face before leaving King's Cross after her third year; throwing an insult over her shoulder at the boy with messy black hair and hazel eyes, who had insisted that she would 'fall for his good looks and charm one day' I muttered a 'hello freak' at her but then smiled when her back was turned. My sister was clueless.

* * *

During her fourth year holidays, sixteen dozen roses appeared in the living room. Lily screamed and sent a furious owl to the **'pathetic, moronic, attention** **seeking, Mr I'm-so-special, git'** and delivered the roses to the hospitals in town. I picked a rose and hid it in my bedroom, they were rather pretty- at least he didn't send Lillies.

* * *

During her fifth year, we received an owl from Lily, detailing what the **'pompus, arrogant, stuck-up,** **Quidditch obsessed scumbag'** had done to a classmate. I pretended to not be interested, but stole the letter when my parents weren't looking.

* * *

In Lily's sixth year, when she hopped off the train. Potter didn't say anything. He didn't wave, ask her out or smile in her direction. Lily looked slightly hurt. I smiled to myself; maybe she was beginning to realize what I had known for a long time.

* * *

When her Head Girl badge arrived, the name of the Head Boy was none other than James Potter. Lily didn't scream, or cry or throw a spat. She actually smiled a little. She was beginning to notice. 

Halfway through her seventh year, an owl arrived with a letter saying that James wasn't talking to her- not an **'arrogant prat with a disregard for the rules'** was ignoring her or a **'cheeky, attention** **seeking moron'** was ignoring her- _James_ was ignoring her.

Before her owl left, I asked it to deliver a message to James. It took a lot of convincing, but in the end it agreed. I didn't write my name on it, all I put was

_Don't give up on her James_

A few weeks later, Lily's owl returned with a letter explaining that James and she had a date for the next week. I smiled, Lily had worked it out.

* * *

Lily's bouquet flew high into the air. Many hands frantically reaching to grab it. Lily turned and caught my eye. I smiled a true and genuine smile to her face. That was something I hadn't done in years. Her husband came and wrapped an arm around her waist and she whispered in his ear. He looked up and walked over, shaking hands with Vernon. He took my hand and I slid a small piece of paper into his hand. A curious look passed over his face. 

When Vernon and I walked away, out of the corner of my eye I saw him open it and smile. He looked at me and winked. I nodded my head slightly and continued walking. Listening to a drunken man singing a song I had never heard and making jokes about him being 'siriusly' happy the two had gotten married.

_I'm glad you didn't give up on her_

* * *

**EPILOGUE**

I never hated Lily, I was always just jealous.

That's why I took in Harry without complaint; Lily was my sister and I loved her, me loving Lily was also the reason I couldn't look Harry in the eye- Lily's eyes.

I was cleaning his room, once when he was at Hogwarts when I came across a letter. I knew it was wrong to read it, but I couldn't help it.

_Dear Harry,_

_I wanted to thank-you for saving my life. I know I've already said it before but I have to say it again. Thanks a lot, I owe you._

_Ginny_

Petunia smiled at the letter, and looked at the picture on his nightstand.

He was smiling, a family of red-heads surrounded him he was standing next to a red-haired girl; it kind of reminded her of a couple she knew.

She shook her head… she knew- even if Harry didn't.

* * *

**A/N- uhm yeah. **


	4. James Potters List

James sat in his room writing down the top six things in life he found scary. Sirius had asked the Marauders to write down the scariest things they had ever seen. Nobody was sure why but as Marauders they did what was asked of them.

James put his quill to the parchment and began to write.

* * *

**6. Lily when she's mad.**

"James Potter!"

"POTTER!"

"You Stuck-up Arse!"

"You Git!"

"JAMES HAROLD POTTER!"

"You Annoying, no good dirty-rotten stuck-up filthy TOE-RAG!"

* * *

**5. Lily when she knows I'm lying.**

Lily raised an eyebrow at James, who was holding something behind his back. Remus and Sirius looked very guilty.

"What are you three hiding?"

"NOTHING!" they chorused.

Lily stepped towards them and James backed away.

* * *

**4. Lily when Sirius left dog-prints all over the carpet.**

Lily entered the room after a particularly bad day at work and her bag clattered to the floor. All over her beautiful white carpet were dog prints. Muddy, filthy dog prints. She looked around and took a deep breath.

"SIRIUS BLACK!"

* * *

**3. Lily when she's PMS-ing.**

James entered the room quietly, tiptoeing on the floor so he didn't alert Lily to his departure. His hand found the doorknob and he slowly turned it.

"Where are you going?" a voice sounded from a shadow across the room.

James jumped.

"Uh, nowhere dear! Just out for a walk!"

"You're going to leave me aren't you? You'll never come back and I'll be all alone!"

She began to cry and James looked around frantically and gently patted her on the shoulder.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" She shrieked.

* * *

**2. Lily when Sirius taught Harry his first word.**

"C'mon Harry, be a good boy and say it for Uncle Sirius!" Sirius cooed. Lily would kill him for teaching Harry this.

Harry gurgled and opened his mouth, repeating what Sirius had said moments before.

There was a crash and a shriek from behind him and Sirius turned to find Lily Potter staring at her son, eyes wide.

Her gaze turned to Sirius.

"You have until I count five to run Black!"

Wasting no time, Sirius took off, the fierce red-head hot on his heels. James watched in amazement as he stepped through the front door. He looked down at his son.

"What's with them?" he asked, not really expecting an answer.

Baby Harry looked at him and smiled, he wanted to show his daddy what Uncle Sirius had taught him.

Sirius Black now had a broken arm, two black eyes, a sprained ankle and a severe concussion. After all, he had been beaten up by Lily and James Potter.

They spent three days trying to convince Harry not to say that word again.

* * *

**1. Lily in labour.**

Lily screamed as another contraction hit her and she gripped James's hand, her long nails digging into the flesh. James gasped in pain.

"Lils, sweetie, could you stop that, it hurts!" he asked. Lily's eyes flashed dangerously and one of the healers laughed.

"Wrong thing to say mate!" he said.

"JAMES HAROLD POTTER! IT HURTS YOU? I'M THE ONE IN LABOUR HERE! AND YOUR CHILD SEMMS TO HAVE INHERITED YOUR FAT HEAD! YOU ARSE!IT'S YOUR FAULT I'M LIKE THIS! YOU ARE NEVER TOUCHING ME AGAIN YOU HEAR! NEVER!" she screamed again but managed to continue her rant.

Her eyes gleamed as she saw something sticking out of James's pocket and yanked it out, waving his own wand threateningly in front of his face.

"NEVER-EVER AGAIN!"

James hastily stepped back as Lily screamed again; but this time, another cry sounded with hers.

"It's a boy!" the Healer proclaimed happily, gently placing him in Lily's waiting arms.

"Oh, James," she said through her tears of happiness, "Isn't he precious? Shame he'll be lonely, maybe he needs a sister?"

'Thump!' James hit the ground with a thud.

* * *

James smiled to himself and wrote down a small conclusion.

So there you have it! My top six list of the Unimaginably Scary things in life.

James smiled and folded the paper over as Lily walked into the room, bouncing Baby Harry on her hip.

"James?" she said cautiously, "What is that?"

He laughed nervously, "Nothing dear!"

Lily raised an eyebrow and stepped towards him.


	5. Any regrets?

Every year at Hogwarts, many people loved the last feast they had a school before the Christmas break. The food was amazing, the decorations were breathtaking and… every year James Potter did something extravagant for Lily Evans and every year… she turned him down.

This year was different. James Potter had not asked Lily Evans out once.

As each of the houses sat down and began to eat, many of them were sneaking glances at the Gryffindor table. James Potter was laughing and joking around with the Marauders and Lily Evans was calmly chatting with her friends.

Professor Dumbledore stood up and waved his hands.

"Everyone. Now that we are all fed and watered, I wish everyone who will be leaving tomorrow a safe trip. Now if there is no _other _business?"

All eyes turned to James Potter. He stood up and walked over to Lily.

"Lily, every year I ask you out in some extravagant way and each year you turn me down. So I'm here to say that I am sorry. I'm sorry for pranking you and asking you out every three seconds. I hope we can get along for the rest of the year."

The hall was silent; everyone (minus the Slytherins) was waiting for Lily's reply.

She looked up at him.

"I forgive you James."

James smiled and went to go sit back down.

"James?" Lily called again.

Everyone had been resuming their conversations but at the sound of Lily's voice- they all stopped.

"Yes Lily?" James asked.

She smiled, "Would you like to go to Hogsmead with me?"

The entire hall was silent for a moment. Even the teachers were stunned.

James's eyes widened.

"O-of course Lily!"

There was silence once again and Sirius Black stood up.

"Three cheers for the love bugs!"

Sirius Black's comment was met with laughs and two spoonfuls of mashed potato, courtesy of Lily Evans and James Potter.

Lily and James had their first official date on the 30th of December and Lily never looked back. After the date, James asked her if she regretted asking him out and this was her reply…

"I don't regret asking you out, I regret saying no when you asked me out."


End file.
